The 12 "Commandments" of Successful, Lasting, and Happy Relationships

Here is a guide to make your relationship blossom.

Sep 19, 2019

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What makes you happiest in your relationship? We can all appreciate the good in life, but with a true relationship, comes balance. Do you desire for your love life to blossom? These 12 credible commandments can guide you on your path to a successful, lasting, and happy relationship.

Trust and Honesty 
Trust and honesty work hand-in-hand when it comes to a successful relationship. Without trust, you are signing yourself up for a whirlwind of jealousy, insecurities, and emotional torture to say the least! Knowing that you are in a trustworthy relationship allows you to feel at ease with each other. So, honor your trust as it is the most valuable attribute a relationship can have. "Trust Takes Years To Build, Seconds To Break And Forever To Repair" - Dhar Mann

Presence
In today's society, it is easy to get sucked into external distractions and neglect human interaction. Presence is the best thing you can give your partner. Devoting time to listen and be attentive strengthens the bond between you. Showing an interest deepens your connection through understanding. Listen with your whole body. Letting go of the past and focusing on the now can help dissolve insecurities and a negative mindset.

Commitment
Actions speak louder than words when it comes to faithfulness. Show your partner that they are the only one for you. A relationship is a life partnership, you are choosing to share this earthly experience with each other. Loyalty is key for an everlasting relationship and a sense of security goes a long way. 

Crystal Clear Communication
Understanding each other’s needs, likes, dislikes, and everything in between is important. Clarity in your relationship allows things to run smoothly and avoid unnecessary arguments. Agree to disagree. Express your feelings and emotions. Talk about both the positives and negatives, as not all relationships are perfect but having clarity certainly makes things easier. Don't make assumptions, as believe me that is never going to end well.

Quality Time
Spending precious time together creates that perfect bond. Find something you both love and enjoy doing together. Studies show that couples who share the same sense of humor experience great relationship satisfaction.

Healthy Boundaries
Just as it is important to spend quality time together, it is just as vital, if not more, important to spend time alone. Creating healthy boundaries within your relationship ensures a long-lasting time of happiness. Many people lose themselves when they get into a relationship. By devoting all of their time and energy into the other person, they lose all sense of who they are. This is where self-love comes to light. Practice personal reflection, self-growth, and do what makes you happy. In turn, this will make your relationship happy as you are content within.

Acceptance
We can't deny that some things that truly push our buttons in a relationship. No one is perfect, and there may be times when you feel frustrated by each other’s actions. But you cannot, nor should you want to change the person you are in love with. Accept them for who they are. Accept that they may do things differently from you, and that's okay. Accepting what is, allows room for appreciation.

Intimacy
Having a deep connection highlights the difference between something casual and a long-lasting relationship. True intimacy is something that couples build over time. Be open and honest with what makes you feel true love.

Gratitude
No matter how long you have been together, you should never take each other for granted. Express gratitude in your relationship daily. Let your partner know how much they mean to you. Voice how appreciative you are for all that your partner does for you, even if it is just a small compliment. Remember, it's the little things that count.

Patience
Sometimes life throws unpleasant situations our way, whether it's a broken appliance at home, a fender bender, or someone spilling red paint all over your new sofa while making home improvements. Always remain calm with each other. If something upsets you, getting angry is only going to make things worse. Calmness is key.

Compassion
Practice small acts of kindness to show each other you care. Understand each other's needs. What makes your partner happy? Do more of that. What tests your partner’s patience? Do less of that. Exhibit vulnerability as this is where your relationship can grow. As the Dalai Lama once said, 'If you want others to be happy, practice compassion". 

Mutual Respect
No relationship is one-sided. You are a team; grow and flourish together. Value each other and understand the element of equality that comes with a relationship. "Love is a two-way street constantly under construction." - Carroll Bryant

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ALLISON MICHELLE DIENSTMAN, CONTRIBUTOR
Working from her laptop as a freelance writer, Allison lives as a digital nomad, exploring the world while sharing positivity and laughter. She is a lover of language, travel, music, and creativity with a degree in Chinese language and literature.