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Words from loved ones can have a lasting impact. Phrases of support or acknowledgements of events from the past can be incredibly meaningful. They may strengthen relationships and be a vehicle for healing.
As with all meaningful bonds, the connection between parents and adult children requires effort and care, HuffPost reports. Open communication, respect, and compassion from all sides are necessary to create a healthy and balanced dynamic.
Lara Morales Daitter, an associate marriage and family therapist, tells HuffPost that adult children often long for parents to acknowledge pain from the past or offer deeper understanding. “These affirmations can hold significant healing power, especially when parents may have been preoccupied with their own challenges, leading to unmet emotional needs in childhood,” Daitter adds.
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Try These Meaningful Phrases
The words you say to loved ones carry immense healing potential. Here are five meaningful phrases parents can share with their adult children to foster understanding and connection, and build more support.
“I am sorry.”
This short sentence is what many adult children yearn to hear the most, according to therapist and author Jor-El Caraballo. As adult children look back on their upbringing, they start to realize how their parents' choices affected them.
“In some cases, those choices posed some challenges to their mental health. Being able to be validated and apologized to by their parents would be a huge win for adult children who are seeking to break some negative family cycles and move forward in their lives with better mental health,” Caraballo says.
An apology from parents and shedding more light on what was going on in the past can go a long way for adult children. “If I had more support, if I had more resources, if I had more finances, if I wasn’t going through a divorce, if I wasn’t struggling with X, Y, and Z — like really recognizing those things and being able to speak to them can be very healing for the adult child relationship,” therapist and author Nedra Glover Tawwab says.
“I support your life path.”
Parents may naturally hope children will follow a course of life that feels familiar, conventional, or stable. However, a child’s life path can look very different from what their parents imagined.
Hearing a parent announce that they respect and support your choices and the life you’re building can be deeply affirming and helps cultivate independent decision-making. “It conveys parental acceptance and validation, fostering a sense of empowerment and emotional well-being,” Daitter explains.
“I am here for you.”
When an adult child comes to a parent with a problem, it’s natural to automatically enter fix-it mode, according to yahoo!life. However, at times, they may just be looking to be heard. Once you say this phrase, allow your adult child to talk about what they’re going through.
“Sometimes, the most impactful thing we can do for someone is to say nothing at all — just being there in the hurt of life is the most powerful support and love we can show,” Dr. Kelsey M. Latimer, a psychologist, tells yahoo!life.
“I am proud of you — not only for your accomplishments but for who you are.”
Telling your adult child how proud you are of them can make a positive difference. This simple act can be affirming for them and create a stronger relationship. This phrase is a way to communicate that you love them for what truly matters — who they are — not just for milestones, including getting hired for a job or getting married.
“Are you looking for advice, or would you like me to listen?”
There are a variety of reasons an adult child might reach out during a challenging moment, according to HuffPost. Ask whether they’re looking for advice or a listening ear, to avoid guesswork. Observe and ask if they want feedback, instead of immediately offering guidance, Tawwab advises.
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