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Family is often a source of unconditional love and security. Whether it’s a parent, sibling, aunt, uncle, or cousin — immediate family members are often the first ones you get to know and may act as a safe haven.
In a perfect world, communication between relatives is respectful, loving, open, and ongoing. However, due to familial conflict, that isn’t always the reality. More serious situations may even lead to long-term estrangement, where contact is cut off altogether, according to Verywell Mind. While the decision to take space can feel challenging, the road to inner peace is possible.
Why People Go No-Contact
What causes family members to become estranged from one another? It may be the result of abuse, violating boundaries, or mental health issues. Money-related tensions, including overspending or strict financial control, can also be behind the decision. Differing political or religious beliefs, and a refusal to apologize, may also divide family members.
Determining if the Relationship is Worth Saving
Before making the decision to distance yourself from a family member, it’s important to check in with yourself on the nature of the relationship before the start of the conflict. If the connection was meaningful and healthy, it may be worthwhile to explore whether healing is possible. Repairing a bond often depends on both people being open, honest, and willing to truly listen. Having a mediator present during a discussion can also be helpful, if emotions run high.
Supporting Yourself During Estrangement
Sometimes a relationship is beyond repair. If a relative remains toxic, abusive, unapologetic, or unwilling to seek professional support, stepping away may be the healthiest choice. Choosing to forgive, even when deciding to go no-contact, is a powerful act that can pave the way for inner peace.
Parents reports that reframing estrangement as an act of self-care and resilience can make a positive difference. If you’re struggling due to the decision to take space, it may be wise to seek the help of a therapist. A trusted friend can also offer support, according to a blog on Psychology Today.
There are a variety of steps you can take to heal yourself. Polyvagal theory suggests that practices such as breathwork, movement, and sound may stimulate your vagus nerve and help your body shift from fight, flight, or freeze mode into a sense of safety. Practicing acceptance and having compassion for yourself can work wonders and be life-changing.
Who and what you surround yourself with can also transform your life for the better. Fill your personal environment with reminders of how much you matter, including pictures of people who love and appreciate you, objects that remind you of your power, or cultural and ancestral decorations.
If you’ve made the decision to take space, it’s important to acknowledge that you’re never alone. Despite obstacles, relationships can change, and you’re capable of healing and having a fulfilling life.
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