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One of the most rewarding parts of parenting is supporting your child so they can become their most authentic selves. When it comes to raising your child, it’s the daily small actions that can have a big impact on the way they see themselves into adulthood.
One powerful approach is gender-neutral parenting, The Bump reports. The parenting style has the goal of avoiding imposing gender norms or stereotypes on children. This means encouraging the exploration of individual interests and identities without the messaging that certain things are “for boys” or “for girls.”
The Benefits of Gender-Neutral Parenting
You might be deciding if this parenting style is right for you and your family. It’s important to note that gender-neutral parenting is positive for children’s development.
“Kids who are encouraged to explore the world freely are often more curious, have more varied interests that allow them to try out different things, are able to respect others who are different from the mainstream and are often more confident as they develop due to their parents’ support of them along the way,” Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, a family counselor and professor and chair of the counseling and higher education department at Northern Illinois University, tells The Bump.
According to PureWow, the freedom to be a more authentic version of oneself also supports social-emotional health. That’s because “gender-neutral parenting encourages all kids to express their emotions freely, allowing for more empathy, self-awareness and emotional resilience,” Dr. Bethany Cook, PsyD, MT-BC, a licensed clinical psychologist, tells PureWow.
How to Practice Gender-Neutral Parenting
Gender Neutral Parenting can help your child find the courage to embrace who they truly are. Read ahead for tips on how to practice this rewarding parenting style.
Choose a Variety of Toys
When it comes to shopping for toys, introduce a wide range of toys including dinosaurs, trucks, and Barbies to any child regardless of their gender. Don’t think about what toys boys or girls are supposed to play with — instead focus on toys as a means to develop strong play, emotional, and cognitive skills.
Forget “Girl Talk” and “Boy Talk”
While gender-neutral parenting can also include not automatically encouraging your child to wear clothes associated with their biological sex and allowing them to choose what feels right, it’s also about language. Dr. Cook encourages parents to incorporate they/them language in a natural way. For instance, saying something like “That waiter is so nice, let’s leave them a big tip.” That’s because language influences how kids understand the world and their place in it. Using inclusive language helps children see that their identity isn’t boxed in due to outdated labels.
Embrace Authenticity and Push Away Stereotypes
One great way to embrace gender-neutral parenting is to avoid dated language that discourages emotional expression — including telling boys to “man up” or girls if something is “not very ladylike.” “Emotional intelligence is a superpower. Kids who are allowed to express themselves without shame grow up to be more confident, empathetic and mentally strong,” says Dr. Cook.
What children see whether in books, movies, or real life can have a powerful influence on them. “If they see a variety of role models challenging traditional gender norms, they’ll grow up knowing they can do and be anything no matter what society says,” Dr. Cook adds. Introducing your kids to stories that feature strong, independent women and caring, emotionally intelligent boys can go a long way.
Set an Example at Home
If you want kids to see gender equality as the norm, show them through walking the talk at home. “Share household chores fairly, let them see all caregivers cook and fix things, and encourage everyone to pursue hobbies they love, whether that’s ballet or basketball,” says Dr. Cook. You can also take actions including celebrating pride and hanging the Progress Pride Flag outside your home, Motherly recommends. This can open a meaningful conversation on the importance of showing support for people to love, and be, whoever they want.
Navigating Gender-Neutral Parenting
Of course, gender-neutral parenting isn’t always easy. Still, this parenting style can allow your child to flourish, PureWow notes. “From the pink-and-blue baby aisle to gendered toy sections, society loves a good label. Parents who opt for a gender-neutral approach often find themselves swimming against the tide, facing confusion, skepticism or even pushback from family, friends and strangers,” Dr. Cook explains.
In fact, this parenting style may be the key to allowing people to become who they truly are. “The gender inequality that we see in adults starts off really, really young. We put these kids in boxes. We say, ‘You're a girl, you're a boy, these are the things you can do, these are the things you can wear,’” Bobby McCullough, who is raising his child without a gender, tells CBC.
So embrace gender-neutral parenting with an open heart. By giving the next generation the freedom to be who they are, parents can nurture their confidence and empathy, and help build a kinder and more inclusive world.
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