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The idea of positive or healthy masculinity is not new. In fact, people have been delving into it for decades. But what does it actually mean?
For far too long masculinity has been associated with negative values that can lead to toxic and abusive behavior, according to MindJournal. But being a man doesn’t mean incorporating these negative stereotypes. That’s where positive masculinity comes in.
Positive masculinity expresses the traits and behaviors that promote a healthy and beneficial expression of masculinity. It is not just about being strong or dominant, positive masculinity is about being empathetic, compassionate, and respectful to yourself and others. That is why it is so important to mentor boys to grow up to be good men, partners, and fathers.
Traits of Positive Masculinity
Positive masculinity is about redefining the traditional beliefs of masculinity and what it is to be a man. This is not about rejecting masculinity but rather fostering a culture where it is ok to be open to a wider range of traits and behaviors while contributing to society.
The most important trait, stressed a blog on Psychology Today, is to be connected. While traditional views of masculinity are built on the idea of self-reliance and the message that men shouldn’t ask for help, this has led to loneliness and isolation. Many men do not have close relationships and the ones that do are usually centered around work and sports. Real friendships allow you to embrace discomfort and let down your walls to let you be completely open and vulnerable.
Another trait is to be authentic so that the opinions of others carry less weight. When your self-worth is based on your own internal values, you have room to be who you really are. This mindset gives you confidence and flexibility.
Positive masculinity, according to MindJournal ,encourages men to be able to recognize and express their emotions, promotes empathy and respect for others, as well as encourages men to be nurturing and active partners, fathers, and caregivers. At the same time, positive masculinity rejects violence, aggressive, harmful behavior, and other traits of toxic masculinity.
Teaching Positive Masculinity to Boys
Many boys today are still accepting the traditional and rigid norms of manhood like emotional stoicism, toughness, and a disdain for behaviors thought to be feminine, reported The Conversation. In fact, between one quarter and one half of boys and young men in Australia express these views.
These were some of the findings of a new survey of adolescents of all genders, between the ages of 14 to 18, that was conducted by The Men’s Project at Jesuit Social Services. Despite the pressures these boys and young men feel to conform to these standards there is still reason to be hopeful.
Most of the male participants endorse a more open and inclusive model for manhood and while many support gender equality, they believe that boys have it harder than girls and this is reflected in behavior.
Boys depend on parents and peers to shape their attitudes about masculinity. Boys who grow up with fathers who have strict adherence to rigid masculine identity show the same beliefs. The stronger their endorsement is to these negative values, like blaming victims of domestic violence and viewing violent pornography. That is why society must find positive mentors and role models for boys.
This can be done through education by building gender-equitable approaches in schools, parenting programs, in workplaces and online that encourage boys and young men to resist toxic masculinity and build on the positive beliefs that the survey found.
While programs exist in some schools and communities, they must be scaled up to reach adolescence everywhere. That way men can grow up to be positive role models and mentors for future generations. The time to start is now.
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