Cultivating Kindness: How to Become More Empathetic and Considerate
Kindness is more than just something you do when you open the door for a stranger or put some coins in a beggars cup. Kindness is a quality of helpfulness, generosity, and doing good deeds for others without expecting anything in return, according to the Mayo Clinic. And the best part is that you do not have to be born kind, it can be cultivated.
What does it mean to be kind?
While a definition of what makes a person kind is hard to pin down, the lists of traits include being thoughtful, caring, and considerate, reported the Huffington Post. But these characteristics are only the beginning to understanding what the qualities are for people who practice kindness.
Houston Kraft, author of Deep Kindness: A Revolutionary Guide for the Way We Think, Talk, and Act in Kindness, told HuffPost that the word kindness denotes “action, quality or state.” This means that kindness is not passive, it has to be actively pursued.
“Putting the pieces together, kindness is a deliberate action of friendliness or care that chooses to see others as if they were connected to you in some meaningful way,” Kraft said. “It is a choice to practice empathy, connection and generosity to meet the needs of another.”
Kindness is good for the giver too
When you are kind to others, you are lifting them up and brightening their day. But did you know that being kind is good for your body and mind too?
Practicing kindness could lower cortisol and blood pressure levels, as well as decrease anxiety, according to Everyday Health. In fact, showing kindness to rude people in line at the coffee shop or people who cut you off on the road can put you in a better mindset instead of letting your emotions get the best of you.
Kindness has also been found to boost happiness. A 2019 study published in The Journal of Social Psychology investigated the effects of seven days of kindness activities on happiness. The research suggested that just setting the intention of doing one act of kindness a week is enough to increase happiness. But don’t stop there, kindness can be practiced every day.
Performing acts of kindness can also increase your sense of connection to others, according to the Mayo Clinic, and reduce loneliness. And kindness can be contagious. Kind acts encourage other kind acts like pay it forward or backward chains in coffee shops.
How to cultivate kindness
Cultivating kindness is probably easier than you think. It starts by making a choice, according to a blog on Calmer. You can live in a cycle of negativity or you can choose to focus on improving your life by making a conscious effort to be kind.
Start with self-compassion. If you are not kind to yourself, it will be difficult to be kind to other people. If you do not feel good about yourself, you may not be able to see the good in others. Learn to forgive yourself and move forward in your journey.
Practice mindfulness by being fully present without any disturbing distractions. This will help you become more patient, tolerant, and empathetic towards the people around you.
One of the most important ways to cultivate kindness is to show gratitude for the good things in your life, both large and small. This will be a reminder of the positive things in the world, especially in trying times. The easiest way to practice gratitude is to say thank you. This lets other people know that you appreciate and value them. This in turn could make them want to be more helpful, considerate and kind.
Doing acts of random kindness is a selfless way to give back to your community and to spread kindness on World Kindness Day on November 13, Good Deeds Day, or any day of the year.
