Make Two People’s Day by Conversing with a Stranger

Most people can think of a time when they were in a bad mood after a long day at work and the barista gave them a warm smile? Or maybe they overheard their bus-mate speaking German and ended up filling the morning commute with a stimulating conversation about an upcoming trip?

There is no limit to the opportunity for positive interactions with the people around you.Strangers are around you most of the day, but if you are like most people, you spend much of your time and effort ignoring them. What if you directed that effort into noticing and interacting with them?  A new approach urges just that.

Greyhound Therapy
The Atlantic examines the benefits of speaking to strangers, by discussing  the work of psychologist Gillian Sandstrom. She considered herself an introvert growing up. But, about a decade ago, she started experimenting with talking to strangers. It was awkward at the beginning, but eventually Sandstrom got better at making positive connections with or smiling at the people she passed every day, and it made her feel better. 

She told the Atlantic that she started waving at a woman running a hot dog stand on her daily commute. “I realized that when I saw her, and when she acknowledged me, it made me feel good. I felt like, `Yeah, I belong here.’”

These small interactions are known in psychology as minimal social interactions, but Nic, another proponent of speaking to strangers, nicknamed them “Greyhound Therapy,” after the feel good effect of speaking to your seatmate on a Greyhound bus.

The world is full of what research calls consequential strangers, the people around you, who represent possible relationships and interactions, according to TED Ideas. When you ignore these people, and they ignore you, this is dehumanizing the other and acting like they don’t exist. 

But if you take the time to drop a warm smile or a kind word to a stranger, at worst, this interaction could not be reciprocated.  At best, you can sometimes have an extended conversation with a stranger, learn something interesting from them, or make a new friend.

What the research says
Nicholas Epley, a psychologist at the University of Chicago conducted a study that was published in The Journal of Experimental Psychology. Participants spoke to strangers on public transportation during their morning commutes. Not only did the group speaking to strangers report having a more enjoyable commute, but conversations with seatmates lasted, on average, 14.2 minutes.

Epley told ABC, net why speaking to strangers may have such a mood boosting impact. Loneliness, Epley explained, is one of the most dangerous social stressors and is even more physically harmful than obesity. “It’s larger than air pollution, it’s larger than physical activity and exercise. Things we spend an awful lot of time worrying about.”  Making connections with those around us, can stave off loneliness and its harmful impacts.

Despite all the benefits of conversing with strangers there are some factors that hold people back  back from reaping the joys of new social connections. Many are afraid to impose on strangers because they don’t want to“trap them in a conversation they aren’t interested in. 

A unique scavenger hunt
Sandstrome thinks that people don’t talk with strangers, simply because most people don’t have the skills or confidence to do so, according to The Atlantic. To address this, she ran London-based events to help people gain confidence in initiating conversations with strangers. To her satisfaction, participants seemed to enjoy the events. Sandstrom told The Atlantic, “By the end they don’t want to stop talking. It’s fascinating. I love it.”

Sandstrom wanted to take this success a step further and she started hosting events where people were forced to talk with strangers. For example, using the app GooseChase, Sandstrom made a scavenger hunt that required participants to talk to people with a variety of characteristics. This event was also successful with four fifths of participants sharing that they learned something new, and nearly half hoping to keep in touch with a newfound friend. 

People spend so much of our day around strangers, in line at the store, on public transportation, in the office. Why not take advantage of being around people you don’t know? Flash a smile or start up a conversation. You may make two people’s day better.