The Special Superpower All Parents Need
Feeling understood is extremely important for children, whether it’s by friends, teachers, parents or grandparents. In fact, it’s the moments of feeling understood, seen, and emotionally supported that shape children into becoming healthy adults.
Whether you grew up in an emotionally supportive environment or not, the great news is that now, through emotional validation, you have the chance to change the lives of the children around you. According to a blog on PsychCentral, validation has powerful benefits. The act of providing validation can help people build their identity, show the other person that they are important and supported, and help people persevere.
The Importance of Emotional Validation
What children need is emotional validation, a blog on Psychology Today reports. Although their emotions and reactions might seem disproportionate, a child’s feelings are real, and they deserve to be acknowledged and validated. And even though you might remember a scenario where you felt misunderstood as a child, it can feel challenging to break the cycle and choose to do things differently. But once you do, the results can be beautiful, worthwhile, and extremely rewarding.
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Validating children’s feelings may seem extremely difficult to do, especially if you didn’t grow up that way or simply weren’t exposed to anything different. But here is the thing: you can acknowledge your children’s feelings without fully comprehending them.
Looking for ways to put emotional validation into practice? Try to minimize bringing your own feelings and experiences into the conversation while listening to your child. It’s all about being present with your child during their emotional experience. It is less about the intellectual aspect and more about the heart, being willing to accept the child and their feelings as they are. Another way to practice emotional validation is through avoiding telling your children their emotions are unhelpful. Instead, use phrases such as “I can see how much this is upsetting you.” Other validating responses include “Wow, a lot is going on for you,” and “I see how sad this makes you, and that must be really hard.”
When a child is experiencing intense emotions — whether it’s rage, despair, terror, happiness, or exhilaration, they aren’t in a place to take in new information. In moments like these, they first need to simply be seen and acknowledged, The Guardian reports.
The Benefits of Emotional Validation
Validation is one of the main ways to help someone navigate their emotions and thrive, a blog on PsychCentral explains. Through validating your children’s emotions, you help them process and be okay with those emotions within themselves. Validation communicates acceptance, a basic human need, which brings a sense of calm. So through getting your child to feel validated, you are also helping them feel accepted, loved, and seen.
If you reflect on your own childhood, perhaps you can recognize the impact that emotional validation could have made in your life. The amazing news is you have the opportunity to do that for others and even for yourself. You can do this through self-validation, a beneficial practice to adopt in your life. Self-validation also comes before self-compassion. You first must acknowledge that your internal experience exists and is understandable, before you can be kind to yourself.
So why is validation a superpower? Because it allows the child or other person to regulate their emotions, helps them feel heard, and builds a healthy and strong relationship with the person validating them. And isn’t that exactly what parenting is about?
