5 Proven Ways to Learn to Love Yourself

By realizing your worth and embracing your individuality, you will inspire and lift up others to do the same.

May 10, 2019

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As spiritual teacher and author, Iyanla Vanzant, puts it, “Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.”

The way we view ourselves impacts our views and actions in every way. If we don’t feel worthy of love, we tend to accept mistreatment or even abuse. When we doubt our abilities, we hide away from pursuing our dreams. When feeling inadequate, people close themselves off to the limitless possibilities that life has to offer.

When we look inward and develop self-confidence, a world of opportunity opens. We gain the courage to realize our potential. When we value ourselves, we walk toward loving, supportive relationships. When we develop self-esteem, we feel confident to work hard toward achieving goals. Taking care of ourselves gives us the strength to inspire and care for others in need.

While it’s one thing to ruminate on loving yourself, actualizing self-worth can require a lot of reflection and life experience. Still, you can begin that lifelong journey one step at a time with these tips to loving yourself.

Developing Positive Thought Patterns

Thought patterns can have a huge impact on how we view ourselves and our experiences. Science looks at how repetitive thoughts, those little conversations we have inside our heads, have a big impact on wellbeing. If you find yourself in a loop of constantly doubting yourself or having anxious reactions to life then practicing positive thinking can help reverse those patterns. Psychologists and spiritual leaders suggest different methods for reversing harmful thought patterns such as mindfulness meditation, positive affirmations, and journaling.

Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness meditation involves bringing awareness to the present moment. Dr. John Paul Minda, a professor of psychology at the University of Western Ontario in London, Ontario, explains,” Mindfulness meditation can help people to be more attentive to their own emotions. By being aware of negative feelings as soon as they arise, people can engage in positive remediation rather than dwelling on the negative cognition.”

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations refer to repeated statements, often written down or spoken out loud, that inspire confidence and optimism. They can help to reverse the negative loop in our minds by replacing them with constructive thinking. For example, you can write down or say to yourself things like, “I am good enough,” “I am worthy of love,” “I can overcome anything one step at a time.”

Journaling

Journaling has a proven positive effect on self-esteem and works like a natural “antidepressant”. It gives a person the chance to process experiences. Also, writing about stressful situations can help diminish their perceived intensity. Spending just 15 minutes a day journaling increases self-confidence and leads to better mental, emotional, and physical health.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Big changes don’t happen overnight. Cultivating self-love involves a fluid, constant journey of healing and self-reflection. With patience, compassion, and persistence, you can build a deeper sense of self-worth over time.

Taking small steps and setting aside a little time each day toward loving yourself will pay off in all areas of your life. Developing self-love sets the foundation for every other aspect of your life. With inner strength and confidence, you can approach obstacles with courage. By cultivating compassion for yourself, you can embrace others with the same level of care and understanding. By realizing your worth and embracing your individuality, you will inspire and lift up others to do the same.

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ALLISON MICHELLE DIENSTMAN, CONTRIBUTOR
Working from her laptop as a freelance writer, Allison lives as a digital nomad, exploring the world while sharing positivity and laughter. She is a lover of language, travel, music, and creativity with a degree in Chinese language and literature.

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