Mory Fontanez on Trusting Your Inner Wisdom and Becoming Your Higher Self

In this episode of The Goodnet Effect: Echoes of Inspiration, we sit down with Mory Fontanez — intuitive life and leadership coach, speaker, and author of Higher Self — for a powerful conversation on listening to your intuition. Fontanez shares her insights on how tapping into our innate wisdom can lead to a life of greater alignment, fulfillment, and purpose.

Through personal stories and practical advice, Mory offers guidance on overcoming limiting beliefs, embracing our authentic selves, and navigating life’s challenges with confidence and clarity. Whether you’re seeking personal growth or simply looking for inspiration, this episode will empower you to trust your inner voice and live in harmony with your higher self.

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Scroll down for a transcription of this episode

EJ: Hello and welcome to The Goodnet Effect: Echoes of Inspiration. I’m your new host, Erica Jackson, and we’re here at Essence of Life Radio, which is part of the Arison Group. I just want to say I’m so excited. This is the first time that I’m hosting this podcast, and this is a special place where we meet inspirational people that are changing the world and the way we think for the better. Now, Goodnet is an online inspirational good news media platform founded by businesswoman and philanthropist Shari Arison. It has a mission of sharing positive stories, stories of personal growth, and that inspire people to go out into the world and create real positive change, which is so important. 

With that, I would like to welcome our guest to the podcast, Mory Fontanez. She is an intuitive life and leadership coach and she’s also an author. She has a book that just came out called “Higher Self” and we’re going to dive right into that and so much more. Mory, congratulations on your new book. Welcome to the podcast, and I want to start off by asking you — why it was so important for you to write this book. 

MF: Thank you so much for having me. I have to say, I follow Goodnet on Instagram, and in watching your content over the years, it’s really helped me realize, oh my God, we do not get enough good news in our feeds. And good news is as much news as bad news. 

I think that’s actually part of the reason I wrote this book right now. Because, right now, we are, and have been for a very long time, being inundated by fear messages. These messages come from all sorts of sources — from the media, from our leaders. What we’re taught is that fear is vigilance, that paying attention to fearful information is what makes us intelligent, and that we’re naive if we believe in the good things. That is really dangerous, because what we’re seeing is that this inundation of fear-based messages is causing us to disconnect from our own inner knowing, from our own wisdom. 

When we disconnect from that wisdom, we’re more likely to buy into the fear. The fear is really there to trigger us into a fight-or-flight response. And when we buy into that, we’re more likely to be divided, more likely to be divided from ourselves, and more likely to lack trust in each other. That’s where you start to see the dangers of some of the stuff we’re seeing going on right now.

So, this book is really meant to be my coaching method, the work that I do one-on-one with clients in a manual. I’ve handed you a roadmap to say, here’s a reminder of who you are. The reality is that the answers you seek are not somewhere out there — they’re within you. If we can remember that, then we will rekindle that flame. 

To me, it looks like little lights going on around the world. Because, as we remember, “Oh, I have the wisdom to know what to do next,” and “I am full of inherent self-worth and dignity,” it will be harder to control you through fear. The more that each of us remembers that, the stronger we all are as a society and the more fulfilled we are as humans living this life. 

EJ: Our community here at Goodnet is passionate about self-growth. So, what are the big takeaways that readers can gain from reading your book?

MF: The first and foremost thing is that if you really want to lead your life tapped into this wisdom, or intuition, it’s most important to be able to decipher that from your fear voice. The first third of the book is written to remind the reader of the moments when they chose other people’s projections, limitations, and fears — even if those were well-meaning, like from mom or dad trying to protect us when we were little. 

The book helps identify those moments when a fear thought blocked our intuitive knowing. It offers a really actionable way to decide, “Oh, I am going to choose the intuitive thought” because you begin to understand the difference between what a fear thought feels like and what an intuitive thought feels like. Some of the actionable tools are about discernment, learning to decipher the two, and understanding that our fear thoughts are just younger parts of ourselves trapped in old stories. 

For example, I have a fear thought about money because when I was little, my parents were divorced, my mom was a single mom who worked hard, and we didn’t have a lot. And that little kid, she’s about nine. So every time, even now at 44, when something happens around money which isn’t actually on the face of it, dangerous or scary, the nine-year-old grabs a hold of that information and is in full panic mode.

So I use my own method. Once I start to feel that panic, I’ll be like, “oh, there you are, little nine-year-old.” And I’ll be able to be in dialogue with her about it. So that’s another tool — learning how to give these limited thoughts back to the original believer, the younger self, and work with that younger self so that it’s not in so much control of your life anymore.

EJ: How do you follow your intuition with all the noise of limiting beliefs, societal pressure, and self-doubt?

MF: It really has to do with trust and faith, and I don’t mean that in a metaphysical way — I mean it in a really practical way. I tell people all the time that our brains require evidence to believe. So the best way to cultivate your relationship with your intuition is to start by looking back at your life and asking yourself, “What’s a moment when I just knew something, and I couldn’t explain why, but I just knew it?” It could be something small or something life-changing. 

But go back and look at your life first and search for evidence where your intuition was really active and right. Look at what happened when you listened to it. As you start to do that, and as you hear that very calm, clear voice, follow its direction and continue to log the evidence: “What happened when I paid attention to that?” 

For me, as an intuitive, I’m paying attention to the unspoken signals and receiving messages. I’ll say those things out loud in a session, and when I see the reaction on my client’s face, like “Oh, wow, how did you know that?” — that’s evidence for my brain. It’s building the notion in my mind, “Oh, you can believe in this sensing ability that you have.” So, we really need to learn how to decipher between fear and intuition, but then start to act on the intuitive knowing and log the evidence for what happens when we listen.

EJ: And what about societal pressure? Because I think that can block a lot of people from finding the courage within to follow their intuition.

MF: Oh, it’s so true. That’s part of this white noise that we talk about. We are beings that require belonging to feel psychologically safe. From the time we were in tribes, we needed to have belonging to survive because, without it, we were ousted and alone in the wilderness. Belonging is a very fundamental need that you have, and in that need, you tend to look to others—what do they think, what are they saying, how are they acting? And then you might mimic that. 

I think there comes a point, and if you’re listening and any part of you is lighting up around this, where living your life that way just becomes exhausting. What’s happening is it’s not a reflection of your own truth; it’s a reflection of someone else’s. And deep down, you know that. Talk about intuition—if you’re hearing these words and living that way, you intuitively know you are. 

You know that you’re tired. You know that you want more. You know that there are things you want to say that you’re tired of keeping in. That little feeling inside you, my mentor calls it “divine discontent,” is the signal that you want something more. You chose other people’s version of the truth to feel a sense of belonging, but now you’re being invited to another way. 

What I’ve found in my own life is that once you start living boldly, trusting your truth, and saying it out loud, people are actually drawn to you. One of the illusions of fear is that if you are truly who you are and follow your wisdom, others will leave you. But think about it: what’s more confident and powerful than someone who is rooted in their knowing? You’ve met people like that. They’re magnetic. So, just know that if you believe you need to go along with everyone else to be loved, that’s an illusion. It’s a limiting belief system that someone has passed on to you. The reality is, you’re far more magnetic if you just stand in your truth.

EJ: Shari Arison, who is not only the founder of Goodnet but also a bestselling author, has a quote from her book The Doing Good Model that says, “Finding inner peace comes about when we are at peace with all of our parts, some which we can see and some which we cannot.”

There is so much truth in this quote because everyone has both light and shadow; it’s part of being human. So how do you accept all of your parts, even those you might feel shame around, which may have started at a very young age? Why is this acceptance such a crucial part of becoming your highest self?

MF: If there’s a shame part of me, an envy part of me, or a guilty part of me, it’s just a little kid. I ask my clients all the time, what would you say to your son, daughter, niece, nephew, or younger sibling if they were speaking to themselves that way, if they hated themselves because of a thought they had or a very human emotion they felt? We often soften in that moment because it’s easier to imagine being loving and kind to another child. All of those parts of us that are trapped in shadow are just younger versions of ourselves.

I love that quote because it reminds me that all of our parts sit along a spectrum. On the left side of the spectrum are our past parts, and instead of feeling ashamed of them, we need to look directly at them and understand why they are stuck in that moment. What limiting belief did we create as a child to survive? We can be grateful for our younger selves’ brilliant strategies to cope, but now it’s time to find a new way. 

On the right side of the spectrum, you start to get closer to your higher self — the part of you that’s unencumbered by past trauma, pain, and fear, and knows that you are inherently worthy of everything you desire. This process is about integrating all parts of ourselves: the shadowy, fearful younger selves and the clear, grounded, intuitive higher self.

EJ: Healthy connections can, of course, be very healing. However, some of the most powerful moments of transformation are the ones that are fully internal. These moments are not necessarily about fixing a relationship on the outside but are about healing within. So, why is the inward journey essential to healing?

MF: If you actually look at the essence of that word “journey,” it is about the experience of being on life’s path, all of its twists and turns, and seeing every single aspect as something that is happening for your highest good, even if it is not the way you wanted it to turn out. That work inward is also a journey because you’re not going to just go from A to B, you’re not going to go do this work I talked about, find the 5-year-old, talk to her once, and then you’re done, right? 

Healing is not linear. It is this kind of spiral path that goes upward. As you evolve, you come back to the same lesson at a higher consciousness or in a higher mind. If we can embrace that, I’m always going to be in dialogue with these younger selves and these younger selves are going to show up in new ways as I experience new things in my life. 

Therefore, I’m embracing the journey. I’m embracing the pathway that’s unfolding rather than making this about — this is going to be this outcome and this is how it’s going to work. Because then that’s all about control and not actually the life experience that you’re having.

EJ: A lot of times we make agreements that are rooted in trauma. What advice would you give for someone who’s aware of their pattern, knows it’s harmful, and desperately wants to break out of it?

MF: First of all, if you have awareness that you’re making these agreements subconsciously, that is half the battle. Truly, awareness is the key that unlocks all transformation. Once you have that awareness, the question that I want you to ask yourself is: What else is possible here? In this agreement — the subconscious agreement of people-pleasing I’ve made, first of all, it definitely has a benefit or else I wouldn’t have made it. But what is it costing me? What am I losing by being in this agreement? 

Get really clear with yourself, and then from that place of information you can ask yourself: Well, what does the opposite of this look like? What else is possible here? When you do this exercise of what’s the opposite of people-pleasing, okay — your brain — your cynical self is going to be making everyone hate you, right? You’re going to go as extreme as you want, but you get to be sort of like the investigative journalist in your own system. Okay, well what would that do? And what are the benefits and the cons of that? And okay, well, what’s the middle ground solution? 

So I think I’m really asking you to be in dialogue with yourself once you have the awareness, to be really, really clear what the cost of this agreement is, and to be accountable that you’re going to keep choosing something that has a cost to it. Once your brain can identify a different approach, then it is possible. 

The only thing that’s standing in your way is that you’re afraid. And here’s the thing about fear: Fear is a liar. So anything it’s telling you is going to happen most likely will not happen. It is up to you to find the courage to feel the fear and do the opposite thing anyway. That’s the only way through.

EJ: How do you know you’ve reached the point where you’re finally living in full alignment with your highest self? What are some of the signs?

MF: First and foremost, it’s dignity. It’s that you are finding that more often than before, you are aware of your own worth, that you understand that you are worthy of the things that you want, that you are worthy of being in relationships that are energetically equal in terms of you are getting what you give. 

That is the first sign of alignment, is that sense of dignity. I tell people all the time, dignity lives in your spine. So even if right now, as you’re listening, you just trace your spine all the way up through your neck and you imagine an invisible thread being pulled from the top of your head, how do you sit differently? When you embody this dignity, which is straight and shoulders back, there’s more possible in even that embodiment. So that’s the first. 

The second really is you are able to hear the clarity of your inner wisdom more often. And you understand that that intuition is a feeling that is calm, that is emotionally neutral, that drops in, boom, just like fact. And that there’s not a lot of consternation. You sort of learn to just follow that knowing. And like I said, you’re logging the evidence. So your brain is coming along for the journey as well, because it’s starting to believe you. But I think that it’s really about choosing yourself while still living in connection with others through empathy. That can be tricky. We can get confused, we can backslide. I want everyone to know that’s okay too. That’s why we just talked about this word “journey.” It’s a practice.

EJ: Mory, thank you so much for coming onto the podcast and sharing all of your wisdom with us today. We really appreciate it. A special thanks to the Arison Group’s Essence of Life Radio for hosting us. To all of our listeners, thank you for joining us for this episode of The Goodnet Effect: Echoes of Inspiration. You can catch all of our episodes and more on our YouTube and Spotify channels. Make sure to go to our website, goodnet.org, and follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok for more feel-good and inspirational content. You can share your thoughts with us there, comment, and tag us. 

Thank you so much for joining us. We hope you have a wonderful day, feel inspired, and walk away with something new from this podcast that empowers you and that you can share with the world to make it a better place. I’m your host, Erica Jackson, and we’ll catch you on the next episode.