How to Put Yourself Out There as a Neurodivergent Person
Finding love is one of the most meaningful parts of life. There’s something special about opening your heart, forming a connection with someone, and experiencing moments of joy together.
Dating provides the opportunity to grow — but it can come with unique challenges for neurodivergent people, who face navigating unwritten social rules, sensory sensitivity, and the uncertainty that dating can bring, according to HuffPost. However, releasing traditional expectations and embracing your own rhythm can make the process more manageable. Below are some practical tips for building connections and staying true to yourself.
Be Honest About Your Needs
The first step is being open about your needs, which lays a foundation for a good connection. “If small talk or subtle cues don’t come naturally, lean into clear and honest conversations. Being upfront about what you’re looking for or any boundaries can help set the tone early, building trust and connection,” Dr. Selina Warlow, founder of The Nook Clinic and a neurodivergence expert, tells HuffPost.
This can also include letting your date know if you prefer structured plans or need time to process how you’re feeling. “Sharing this openly helps set realistic expectations and allows both of you to enjoy the experience without unnecessary stress,” she adds.
Choose Meeting Places That Work for You
While bars and restaurants are common places to meet for dates, they can be overwhelming for those with noise sensitivity. Your comfort matters, so in order to avoid sensitivity overload, pick places that allow you to feel relaxed and present. Dr. Warlow suggests quiet cafes, nature walks, or activity-based outings such as going to a museum or playing games. This can make connecting easier and more fun.
Discover Mutual Interests
Finding out about mutual interests can ease first-date nerves and make a big difference in terms of building connections, CNN reports. This was true for Abbey Romeo and David Isaacman on “Love on the Spectrum.” While Romeo initially felt nervous during her first date, she says, “I found out that we have a lot of things in common — not everything, but a lot of things.”
They both learned they share a love for animals, particularly lions. Romeo and Isaacman also took time to show each other their different interests, including foods to try and places to check out. Taking time to learn about shared and individual passions can go a long way in building meaningful connections.
Ask Yourself if You Like Them
According to The Guardian, it can be easy to focus on whether the person you’re getting to know likes you — though it’s just as important to ask yourself if you like them. For people who experience rejection sensitivity dysphoria, avoiding rejection at all costs can feel automatic — even when they don’t like the person.
One helpful practice? After a first date, list five things you liked about the person. Through checking in, you can see how you feel about the date and stay centered in your own needs and values.
Dating can be tough for everyone, and there’s no one-size-fits-all way to do it. But by remembering that your neurodivergence is what makes you unique, communicating openly, and honoring your needs, you can create the space for love that feels genuine and right for you.
