5 Ways To Be More Vulnerable and Authentic
By Jadzia Jagiellowicz
Imagine Sarah has just been offered a big promotion: a chance to lead a new department and manage a team of 15 people, which could be a major step forward in her career. However, Sarah has never managed anyone before. While excited, she’s also filled with self-doubt. What if her team doesn’t respect her? What if she’s not cut out for leadership?
On the day of her meeting with her boss Dan, Sarah feels anxious. She knows he’s expecting her to accept the role, but she decides to be honest about her concerns. Taking a deep breath, she says, “Dan, I’m excited about this opportunity, but I want to be upfront. I’ve been feeling anxious about whether I’m truly ready to lead. I’m worried that I might not be able to handle it.”
For a moment, there’s silence, and Sarah wonders if she’s just made a huge mistake by admitting her fears. But Dan surprises her. “I appreciate your honesty, Sarah,” he says. “It’s normal to feel nervous when stepping into something new. Leadership is something you grow into, and we’ll provide the support you need along the way.”
In today’s digital age, where much of our lives are spent online, living authentically — being true to who we really are — is both challenging and important. It’s challenging because in order to be authentic, we have to be vulnerable and willing to take a risk to share personal information. And it’s important because, according to research, being vulnerable and authentic helps us believe in ourselves, build better relationships, boost our self-confidence, and improve our physical and mental health. In Sarah’s case, she realized that openness didn’t make her weak, on the contrary, it gained her the reassurance and support she needed.
We can all unlock these benefits if we take steps to integrate vulnerability and authenticity into our daily life.
Benefits of vulnerability and authenticity
Being vulnerable sounds scary, but research suggests that it has many benefits, including the following.
Greater mental and physical well-being. When we live authentically, our actions align with our true beliefs and values. When people are allowed to be themselves in the various roles they play—like employee or parent—they can connect more deeply with these roles and experience greater well-being as a result. For instance, one study found that individuals who experienced higher levels of authenticity reported better physical and mental well-being, including lower feelings of stress, less depression, and fewer physical symptoms.
Improved relationships. Vulnerability and authenticity play a critical role in building and maintaining healthy relationships. Vulnerable individuals strive for openness and honesty in close relationships, and openness is essential for developing intimacy and trust. People feel closer to each other when they share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
When you are open about your own struggles and vulnerabilities, it often encourages others to do the same, creating a more empathic and supportive community. Sometimes we’ll discover that someone else has felt the same way we do, which fosters a sense of closeness and mutual understanding.
For example, research on people with mental health concerns found that those who were vulnerable with a good friend felt less ashamed of themselves than those who didn’t feel comfortable being vulnerable with a friend. More vulnerable individuals also really wanted to be with their friends.
Enhanced empathy and compassion. Being vulnerable can often include showing greater empathy and compassion for others. Empathy is the process of sensing or imagining another person’s emotional state. It includes experiencing the same emotion as another person or recognizing the emotions of others.
When we acknowledge our own vulnerabilities with kindness, we are practicing self-compassion — and research suggests that self-compassionate people are more empathic and compassionate toward others. When you forgive yourself for any mistakes or shortcomings, it becomes easier to understand and forgive others.
Higher self-confidence. Self-confidence stems from accepting ourselves and recognizing our inherent worth. Living authentically involves embracing our strengths and weaknesses, which is fundamental to building self-confidence.
When we live in accordance with our true selves, we no longer feel a strong need to conform to external expectations. This freedom allows us to take risks and pursue our goals with less fear of judgment.
More effective leadership. Authentic leaders “walk the talk,” keep their promises, and align their actions with their words. The combination of authenticity and vulnerability enhances leaders’ effectiveness by creating an environment where employees feel safe to be themselves and make mistakes.
undefined suggests that authenticity increases employees’ trust in the leader and organization and encourages them to speak their minds. Authentic leaders build trust through transparency and integrity, and staying true to their values, which significantly enhances trust within their teams. Authenticity and vulnerability also improve team dynamics, facilitating better collaboration and communication.
Overall, the behaviors and beliefs of authentic leaders encourage greater organizational performance. An authentic leader can also model clear organizational values for employees. Employees who identify with the leader thus identify with the organization and are more willing to adapt to change and innovate in order to make their organization effective.
How to live vulnerably and authentically
If you would like to live vulnerably and authentically, try some of the following tips.
Acknowledge your emotions. Recognizing your emotions is the first step toward accepting them, and accepting your emotions is the first step toward showing vulnerability. For example, you can’t be honest with someone about the hurt you’re feeling if you’re too busy avoiding it or covering it up with defensive anger.
This first step of acknowledging emotions is crucial, since suppressing or denying feelings can lead to emotional distress and mental health issues. Specifically, a study by James Gross found that people who denied their feelings actually felt worse after doing so. They also had more problems with memory tests, suggesting that the effort of blocking their emotions impaired their memory. By acknowledging your emotions, you become more attuned to your internal experiences, which is crucial for authentic self-expression.
Ask for help. Seeking assistance or support when needed is a powerful way to show vulnerability. It demonstrates that you recognize your limitations and are willing to rely on others, which can strengthen relationships. Researchers found that sharing positive events and asking for support can help make you more satisfied with your relationships and strengthen your links to other people.
Practice self-compassion. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding during times of failure or difficulty. By practicing self-compassion, you acknowledge your vulnerabilities and respond to them with care rather than self-criticism.
One way to practice self-compassion is to turn to people to whom you feel close for help in dealing with emotionally difficult situations.
Engage in open communication. Engaging in open and honest communication with others is a fundamental way to show vulnerability. This means being transparent about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Research suggests that being open and honest when speaking with others encourages others to do the same in return and results in better relationships. Being honest about what you want and expect, even if it makes you feel exposed, can prevent misunderstandings and make your relationships more satisfying.
Model yourself on authentic individuals. For example, find that individual at your workplace who is engaged, enthusiastic, and energetic with respect to their job. Individuals find it easier to be engaged with their work when that work is authentically in line with their values, skills, and aptitudes. In that context, individuals have more energy to devote to their work, since they are not using it to conceal their true self.
Watching how an authentic person acts according to their beliefs in a situation that makes them vulnerable can inspire others to also act authentically.
In a world increasingly dominated by superficial digital interactions, embracing vulnerability and authenticity becomes even more important for true connection with others. As illustrated by Sarah’s experience, sharing our fears can lead to unexpected support and understanding, fostering connection and trust. By practicing vulnerability, we can cultivate deeper relationships, enhance our well-being, and navigate the complexities of our work life with confidence. Having the courage to act authentically and with vulnerability can even inspire those around us to do the same.
