The Six Points of Connection You Need

By Aaron Hurst, Nancy Connolly

It’s widely recognized that the crises of loneliness, disconnection, and social fragmentation are touching nearly every aspect of our lives, from personal well-being to public health to democracy itself. What’s far less clear is what to do about it. 

Research helps us understand the scope of the problem, but for the average person or community leader, that insight often stops at diagnosis. Telling someone to “be less lonely” is about as helpful as telling them to “be less sick.” It doesn’t offer a path forward — and can even make the problem feel worse.

At the US Chamber of Connection, a nonprofit focused on building the civic infrastructure of connection, we wanted to answer a simple but pressing question: What does it actually mean to live a connected life — and how can we help more people do it? 

Drawing from a wide body of research across psychology, public health, sociology, urban design, and behavioral science, we surfaced six core domains that consistently showed up as key to personal and societal thriving. We call them the Six Points of Connection.

Have a Neighborhood Emergency Contact

Research published by the Pew Research Center and others shows that almost one-third of Americans don’t know a single neighbor, and nearly half never interact with those living nearby. But knowing our neighbors is an important part of our experience of being home and feeling “at home.” Feeling surrounded by people we know makes us feel safer, which in turn makes us more secure and measurably healthier. 

From a community perspective, strong neighbor networks yield numerous benefits. Connected neighborhoods have lower crime rates; through collective vigilance, they enhance disaster readiness, and retain local memory and cohesion. 

Belong to a Community of Identity

Belonging to a community with a shared identity is one of the most effective ways to foster deep, meaningful connections. People feel most comfortable, understood, and supported in groups where they share core aspects of their identity, such as ethnicity, culture, gender, or experiences. A shared identity fosters deeper trust, emotional safety, and, crucially, a deep sense of belonging.

Communities form around cultural associations such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+) networks, faith groups, professional affinity groups, or alumni chapters. People connect through shared narratives and experiences. Simply witnessing others who “look like me, live like me” and share values creates a profound sense of emotional connection. Importantly, passive affiliation isn’t enough. To gain the belonging benefits, individuals must actively engage: attend events, volunteer, share stories — investing reciprocity. 

Join an Activity-based Community

Activity-based communities gather around shared interests or hobbies such as sports, crafts, or volunteering opportunities. 

Unlike identity communities, connection in an activity group is through doing something together rather than being centered around identity. Such groups satisfy the human longing for shared purpose: We aren’t just friends, we’re teammates, gardeners, dancers. A sense of collective accomplishment fosters belonging, trust, and self-confidence.

These environments can be especially good at bridging social divides. These groups offer rich opportunities to foster shared purpose, mutual support, and regular contact across social differences. 

Communities benefit, as well: Activity groups support local culture, enrich civic life, and spark volunteer and leadership opportunities. Churches, nonprofits, sports leagues, and libraries often host these groups — providing ready platforms for civic actors to connect newcomers to shared recreation and learning.

Connect With a Friend or Family Member at Least Twice a Week
Regular, heartfelt conversations with people outside of work or home are fundamental to mental and emotional resilience. On this front, quality means more than the quantity of interactions.

Mutually engaged, empathic exchanges foster support and meaning in life. Research consistently shows that individuals with frequent contact with friends or family report better mental health, lower stress, and stronger coping skills. These regular ties reduce the sense of isolation and enhance feelings of stability and belonging.

Practically, this can be as simple as arranging a weekly coffee date with a friend, a nightly call with a loved one, or a regular shared meal. The key is building the habit: Schedule it, communicate its importance, and treat it like any essential commitment.

Finding Your Third Place in the Community
Coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg in 1999, the “third place” is neither home (first place) nor work (second place), but a social environment fostering casual, egalitarian interaction, such as cafés, libraries, barber shops, parks, gyms, or community centers. 

In our research, we have found that third places are ideal for creating opportunities to create “bridging social capital,” which refers to connections made between people from different backgrounds. Bridging social capital fosters the formation of diverse and supportive social networks that offer resiliency and have been shown to improve mental health and lower stress levels. 

This may mean finding a weekly trivia night, a community center class, a church group—or simply being a regular at the corner café. It’s about creating a home base beyond work or living rooms, where casual friendships form through shared routines.

Volunteering in the Community

Engaging in community service through volunteering, mutual aid, or civic organizations strengthens personal well-being and supports the broader community. 

A study by the University of Maryland found that when people volunteer, they are 24.4 percent more likely to join a community group, and people who volunteer are less likely to be lonely. Thus, volunteering both reflects and reinforces connection to create a virtuous cycle of engagement. 

Importantly, civic volunteers gain new networks, leadership skills, and a grounded sense of impact, which is especially important for newcomers who lack established local ties. For communities, volunteerism fills critical social service gaps, strengthens nonprofits, and fosters intergenerational solidarity.

This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. Click here to read the original article.