How to Teach Mindfulness in a More Social Way
By Natalie Gruber and Danah Henriksen
Social disconnection, isolation, and stress are key contributors to the loneliness epidemic and mental health crisis impacting young people on college campuses today. These issues affect people of all generations in the United States and across the globe.
Feeling connected and accepted by others is a fundamental human need. In education, belonging and connection are critical factors in student success, engagement, and retention both face to face and online, on college campuses and within K–12 learning communities. In K–12 settings, both student-teacher and peer-to-peer connections are key factors in school attendance and in preventing unhealthy risk-taking behaviors and physical and mental health problems among students.
Given how essential social connections are to student well-being and success, the CDC recommends educators devote more time to giving students the opportunity to develop and practice their social skills. To do this, educators need simple and effective ways to promote and facilitate positive connections.
One promising way to do that is with relational mindfulness practices, which combine socializing with stress reduction, helping students learn basic mindfulness skills and connect with themselves and each other more deeply. Developed at UCLA Mindful, where one of us (Natalie) trained as a mindfulness teacher, relational mindfulness practices provide a structured, fun, and engaging way to initiate engagement between students and promote connection, compassion, and belonging.
The Benefits of Relational Mindfulness Practices
Mindful awareness results from placing attention on present-moment experiences with openness and curiosity. Relational mindfulness involves extending that awareness on to the experience of interacting with another person. This awareness can focus on any social interaction in daily life and can also be cultivated in structured, formal practices. These practices are suited to the needs of beginning and experienced mindfulness practitioners alike, and we’ll discuss some specific practices below.
Beyond fostering peer connections, relational mindfulness offers additional benefits. It’s an accessible way to develop basic mindfulness skills, including awareness and meta-awareness (awareness of multiple things simultaneously). This can help students feel less consumed by their experiences, like being lost in negative thoughts or overloaded by difficult emotions. Focusing attention on another person, rather than inward, can make mindfulness more engaging for young people.
Part of the practice of relational mindfulness involves listening and speaking to others with greater attention, building both mindfulness and social skills. Students learn how to pay attention to someone’s emotional state and build empathy from listening to their perspective. Listening to another person’s experience can broaden their perspective as they reflect and perhaps start to understand themselves better. In this way, feelings and experiences can become more human and normalized. And research suggests that incorporating emotions into learning — allowing students to think and feel not just for themselves but for and with others too — strongly predicts healthy brain development in adolescents in the short and long term.
Relational mindfulness practices often help students feel more comfortable being themselves. In part, this is because there is no two-way, back-and-forth conversation. One partner silently listens to another without responding. This no comment rule allows partners to silently witness one another’s experience. For many, having a peer as a silent witness can feel akin to acceptance and permission to not just authentically be themselves, but also explore and learn about themselves more deeply.
Relational mindfulness practices work well both in person and online for a variety of ages and needs. While relational mindfulness is often practiced in person, it is equally impactful in online learning environments. Digital spaces have unique challenges — students may feel disconnected, distracted, or hesitant to engage. Relational mindfulness practices may help bridge that gap, creating meaningful interactions in any setting.
For Lucy, 19, who participated in a 14-week stress reduction and social connection program at Arizona State University, relational mindfulness practices connected her both to peers and to herself, which made her feel good. She remarked on how she often came to the sessions feeling stressed and wondering if she truly had time to attend. Yet each time she left the sessions feeling refreshed, revived, and happier. For her as a college freshman, experiencing meaningful connection and acceptance with the upperclassmen in the program buoyed her self-confidence and inner strength.
Different Ways to Practice Relational Mindfulness
We took steps to systematically identify and understand the full range of relational mindfulness practices developed and taught at UCLA Mindful by Diana Winston and Marvin Belzer, and we cover some of the practices below. These can be brought into online and face-to-face learning environments by educators and mental health practitioners.
Check-Ins: Check-ins can be done daily in small groups at the beginning of class, with each member of the group taking two minutes to share how they are feeling and reflecting on where they are in regard to the current lesson, noting what is clear and what they could better understand. Group check-ins can help students feel more engaged, understand each other’s experiences, self-reflect, and normalize challenges. After check-ins, groups may share with the whole class any themes that come up — for example, “We are all feeling pretty stressed and ready for break. We also had some confusion about the upcoming project that is due.”
Thunder and Lightning Rounds: These teacher-led practices quickly sweep around the entire classroom. The teacher calls on each student to answer one question that may be focused on learning or building relationships. Thunder rounds focus on questions that can be answered in a few words, such as “What is your biggest takeaway from this unit?” or “What are you most looking forward to doing this weekend?”
A lightning round focuses on a question that can be answered in just one word, such as “What word would you use to describe Martin Luther King, Jr?” or “If you were any kind of animal, what would you be?” This can help build connections or advance learning. Each member of the classroom has a low-stakes opportunity to participate, which can help students who have difficulty engaging in discussions feel more comfortable.
Appreciative Inquiry: In groups of two to four, students take turns speaking for two minutes about something that is going well, something that they are grateful for, or a big or small victory they have experienced recently. This helps to reinforce positive circumstances or experiences, and students often find it uplifting to discuss and hear good things.
Monologues: In pairs or groups of three, students take turns answering a question for two minutes — like “What brings you joy?” — and silently listening to one another’s answers. Students can learn about each other, reflect on what makes them happy and how this might relate to their classmate’s happiness, and focus on positive aspects of their own lives.
Repeating Questions: In pairs, students take turns asking a repeating question focused on, for example, the positive character traits of someone they know or a current or historical figure who is the subject of their learning. The listener asks: “What do you like (or admire) about them?” The speaker answers the question fully. The listener says “thank you,” and then asks the question again. This process continues until two minutes are up and the listener and the speaker switch roles. Students have the opportunity to delve deeper into a topic, and the questions can be tailored to focus on important themes like kindness or compassion.
Several of these exercises can be easily adapted for online classrooms. Check-ins, monologues, repeating questions, and looping inquiry can all be done in breakout rooms, using the timer feature to keep track of time, posting the instructions in the chat for students to refer back to. Some students find these online formats even more comfortable than in-person interactions, as the digital setting can provide a sense of structure and safety that allows for greater openness.
Mental health practitioners may find these exercises beneficial to fostering cohesion in therapeutic or social skills groups. They may be able to work on a deeper level and explore other questions. “Looping Inquiry”, for example, involves partners taking turns back and forth asking and answering the same question, such as “What’s holding you back from (making a good choice)?” for three minutes, with one partner thanking the other after completing their response before switching roles. After time is up, partners switch the looping question to “In what way are you ready to (make a good choice?),” saying “thank you” once their partner has finished responding and then switching speaker and listener roles for three minutes. Afterward, student pairs can process the activity together and then with the group, reflecting on similar and different experiences.
Students can also be encouraged to engage in “Mindfulness Out Loud” by narrating their internal experiences. For example: “As I’m talking about what makes me happy, I’m noticing that my stomach is fluttering. It feels exciting to share this and maybe a little sad, too. One of my big sources of joy is my grandmother. I don’t get to see her that often.” This helps to further mindfulness skills by naming what is in the student’s awareness, also helping other students understand how their classmate is feeling and reflecting on their own experience, understanding they are not alone in their difficulties.
The key with all of these exercises is that they are facilitated in a light and positive way. If students are uncomfortable and do not wish to participate, they can journal their responses to the questions separately. For their own enjoyment and embodied learning, we suggest educators try out these practices first. These are intended as learning, reflection, and connection exercises that leverage positivity, promoting understanding and respect for oneself and others.
Whether practiced in person or online, relational mindfulness leverages the deeply human experience that is within the essence of all learning. The need for connection, presence, and reflection transcends physical space. Education, at its best, prepares learners for the journey of life and includes both heart and mind. By intentionally fostering relational mindfulness, educators can create environments where students feel truly seen, supported, and engaged — no matter where they are.
This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. Click here to read the original article.
